God's Not Dead but...

Warning: Contains major spoilers from the movie God's Not Dead.

Seriously I'm going to to fast forward and give the cliff note version, skipping pretty much right to the end of the movie.

This is your last chance to avoid spoilers. You've been warned.

Josh Wheaton, a Christian student challenged by his atheist professor, Professor Radisson,  gives all his evidence for the existence of God. Professor Radisson admits he hates God because his mother died from cancer when he was 12, and God did not save her. Later he reads a note his mom wrote him. Change of heart happening. He calls his girlfriend/ex-girlfriend, a Christian. Presumably to say something along the lines of, "hey, maybe I was wrong. Maybe this God of yours does exist. Tell me more." She doesn't answer. He goes to find her. Cue the car. Bam! While crossing the street he gets hit by the car and dies. In the minute before he dies, while he is lying in the road, the pastor is conveniently there and asks him if he knows Christ. Professor Radisson then gives his life to Christ and dies. He dies!

Great. He's saved. Happy ending. Right?

No!

God's not dead but Professor Radisson is.

Am I the only one sorely upset with the ending? Of the reviews I've read and skimmed none of them have mentioned the ending in this way. If you haven't quite caught on yet I have a slight problem with Professor Radisson dying in the end. (Yes, I realize it's just a movie so I may be looking too far in to it).

Professor Radisson makes a deathbed decision to accept Christ. I am not knocking his decision and saying it's not a genuine decision. It was clear he was on his way towards that decision anyway. Getting hit by a car just kind of sped things up. The way I see it, his deathbed decision was a relatively easy decision. Had he lived he would be faced with actually living out a Christian life. This would be a much greater challenge. His friends and colleagues were atheists. They mocked the idea of believeing in a God. His whole class was taught on the premise that God is dead.

Therefore, having given his life to Christ, if he lived, you would expect a change of character. I mean he would have to change the whole way he teaches his class. Living a Christian life among his colleagues and friends would certainly not be easy. It's safe to assume he would essentially be mocked and persecuted among his colleagues and friends. He would be faced with the choice of standing for Christ or denying Christ.

Christians are not guaranteed an easy life. There will be pain, insults, suffering (Matthew 5:11, James 1:2-4, 1 Peter 1:6-7, 1 Peter 3:15-17, 1 Peter 4:12-16). Professor Radisson I'm sure would have faced insults and mocking from his colleagues. He pretty much had a Saul to Paul conversion. Professor Radisson persecuted those who were Christians both in his class and life and tried to destroy their belief in God. Saul persecuted the church of God and tried to destroy it.

So they would have been kind of alike, except Professor Radisson died and didn't get to show a transformed life. His colleagues I'm sure would hear about the decision he made while dying, but having known him as they did, as one who persecuted Christians, would they really even believe it was true? Would they believe someone like him, who hated God, had really given his life to Christ? It's not that it's an impossible thing to believe, but he's not around anymore for them to truly see the change in his life. Their lives would then probably remain unchanged.

In conclusion, I think Professor Radisson should have lived.

Life Lately

Stress. Stress. Stress. And some more stress.

What does all this stress do to an individual? Well, I haven't slept well in weeks. Headaches, there have been a few. Upset stomachs? Some of those too. A couple of weeks ago I was the nearest I've ever been to having an anxiety attack, my breathing was getting pretty shallow. And as of last night you can add nose bleed. I used to take Valerian root some nights when I knew I couldn't get my mind to shut down. Now I take it day and night to help stay calm.

It's all really just from one class, seminar, and the paper for it. One of the two papers that determine if I graduate. I'm trying but I guess my efforts just aren't showing. And I'm just going to end that here.

This week made 10 years since I accepted Christ. It's great to be able to look back and see how much I've grown spiritually since 8th grade. That's what I needed now. A reminder to continue seeking the Lord and trust in Him.

When it Rains it Pours...and then Snows

When it rains it pours. Well then it hasn't stopped raining since before the Christmas break. And apparently that rain eventually turns to snow.

Here's to 24! May it be everything 23 wasn't! I'm not actually sure what that's supposed to mean but it seemed like the right thing to say. So yeah, I had a birthday. I'm 24. That's really all I have to say about that.

I began a post a couple of weeks ago and never finished (as per usual) so I'll combine that post with this one and have seeming little cohesion between thoughts.

The week of the 12th I had my high and low point of the week within a 2 day period, really within a 24 hour period. January 12 at 3:25pm my maw-maw passed away. January 13 at 1:30pm I took and passed the Praxis for SLP.

A not so good Christmas break led into an already stressful final semester of school. Christmas break consisted of studying practically everyday for the Praxis, my dad being diagnosed with Parkinson's (educate yourself), maw-maw being hospitalized and passing. That last one's been the hardest.

At 95 years old, maw-maw lived a full life. When she passed away there was sadness, regret, and anger. Lots of anger. What's happened has happened, can't change the past, so the anger has subsided. In it's place the sadness has grown. I do find comfort in knowing she is at home with the Lord, but it's still hard knowing she isn't hear anymore. Life has changed. What will Tuesdays when I don't have school look like? What will Saturdays when I'm not working be like now? What about holidays? Tuesdays, Saturdays, and holidays will all continue to happen but Maw-maw is no longer here. As her house (which she lived in for over 70 years!) has been being cleaned out my  mom asked me multiple times what I wanted. Yeah, I have a few items, but none of them are what I really want. What I want is maw-maw. What I want is for everything to stay exactly where it is and nothing change. I can't get what I want though. What I want is impossible. Sometimes I wonder if the sadness will ever leave. It's not an overwhelming or continual thing but it hits me, usually at night when I should have gone to bed a couple of hours ago, and I just have to cry a little.

School has begun. Barely. It's been 2 1/2 weeks and I have been to 3 classes. Seminar may be the death od me. All the reading and discussing. (Side note: I write comments/questions on the articles. Last week I wrote a comment about my comment:,"punny" and this week an article left me writing "wtf" at one point. Don't judge). Discussing...that means talking, kind of a lot. So this semester already has me stressed. It comes in waves. There are moments when I think there's no way I can make it through this semester. Then I finish reading an article and I think I can do this. Only 4 more months, really not even that long.

Clinic should have started this week but "snow" prevented that. The past three days have had a winter weather advisory. School was closed Tuesday and Wednesday and EBPRSS (which my clinic schedule is following) was closed today as well because of ice.

My car went from just having a flat tire to having a bad ball joint. Then to having a dead battery. Then to nope, not the battery might be the starter. Everything is further complicated by an uncontrollable car alarm. This has been in less than a weeks time. It'd be okay if we were only down one car, but we're not. Nope, we're down 2 (Daddy's truck hasn't been working since about Thanksgiving-ish), so that means 2 working vehicles for 4 people.

What were my new year "resolutions"? Be happy. Be positive. Be kind. Looks like I've got some work to do.

I'm handling things okay though, I think. Better than last year, but let's (meaning "let me") stop comparing to last year.

The Lord has brought some new people into my life. I think the Lord brings new people into your life at just the right time, when you need it, when you need them.

This was rambly (yeah, I'm making up words too), and long, and disjointed. Nor did I say some of the things I had intended to in the original post. They need more thinking over and Biblical searching.

And...end post.

Pot Calling the Kettle Black

I'm pretty sure between my post about resolutions and my comments made on facebook I've contradicted myself. And the very "resolutions" I did make aren't just new year resolutions. The resolutions I made shouldn't be just year changes but life changes. New life resolutions. Be positive, happy, patient, kind. Those aren't things to do or change just for a year and then be done with them. A new year resolution should be something to do the year and then if you don't keep it up for the following years then no biggie. A new year resolution would be read a book a month (I wish! Once school starts, no chance). What is something I can or want to do this year. I'm not sure. Turn my computer off and unplug at least an hour before "bed time." Which is hard when I don't go to bed at a set time. Computer off by 11pm? Again though, that's something that would probably be better for more than just this year.

Classic Emily overthinking.

It's a New Year

Posts two days in a row! What!? Well, I've been doing some thinking. Actually, not that much thinking, but I have thoughts. Now I try to make them make sense in words outside of my mind.

When I didn't really have a functioning computer a few weeks ago it was great! That obviously meant less time spent wasted online. The past few days particularly I've found myself wasting so much time online. Checking the same few sites I visit and finding nothing new or interesting on them. I'm bored with them but keep going back again and again.

I've kind of started hating facebook, or at least the overshares. I mean that in multiple ways. The people who overshare and the articles that get overshared. The articles that get overshared are actually sometimes good. I share some myself. I guess my qualm with this is when conversations in the real world begin with, "Did you see/read on facebook." Okay, so that goes beyond just articles, videos, and what not. Whatever. The oversharers. The people. I've "hidden" or whatever you call it so many people because really I don't care that much about what's happening in their life. Sorry. I don't care if it's your "first group date as a married couple." So? Is that really that significant or interesting to others. I probably shouldn't be complaining about oversharers because I'm sure I do it too. Whatever. 

("Whatever" is kind of my ending point/sign of defeat/i don't care/i say it like I really don't care but really do care. You figure out which it is right now).

Also, and this one goes back to people posting on facebook (sensing a pattern here...Facebook used to be good for staying in touch...now it's just a nuisance), so many people posting about the past year and new year. In and of itself, not a bad thing. Makes sense, it is January 1 after all. What's bothering me about it is in their reflection of the past year it's all me, me, me centered. I get that they're sharing about their past year, but it's all about their accomplishments. I did this. I did that. I, I, I. Yes, take pride in your accomplishments, be proud. But there is a fine line between being proud and being prideful. Wait a minute. I just said don't be prideful, but I also said take pride. What kind of semantics game am I trying to play?! The difference is humility.

Maybe I'm just sore because I look back on 2013 and I don't see that I've accomplished much. What I do see is the Lord taught me to wait and be okay with waiting. I see friends praying for and with me to get through difficult times. I see those as my highlights of 2013.

Finally, I thought I’d have no resolutions for the new year. Why make them? I don’t keep them. But I did. They’re not too specific but things I need/want to work on. 

• Be more positive. 
• Be happy. 
• Be patient. 
• Be kind. 

Okay, one is specific. Read my Bible everyday for at least 5 minutes... and not the last five minutes before I go to bed. Be intentional in the use of those minutes. 

Now I think I shall go share this one facebook...oversharing?