Out of Control

Another delayed entry, but what else would you expect from me. I meant to complete this post in August right after the JBC college leadership retreat (Aug. 18-19). Since it's so delayed anyway, I'll delay a little bit more by beginning it with a side (and a bit unrelated) story.

As I type "out of control" I think of and hear in my mind Hoobastank's song by that title. Which reminds me of the time we sang the chorus of The Reason in worship at a youth camp back in 2004. Oh my. Out of Control was not sung in any kind of worship service, I wasn't even sure of all the words until I looked it up just a few minutes ago, but it does indeed do a pretty decent job of describing how I was feeling about a month ago.

About a month ago, earlier in the week before the retreat, I felt like I lost all control. I don't know why I felt this way. There was nothing particularly wrong or bad going on (that I recall), but I felt like I had no control over anything. I distinctly remember driving and thinking, "I have no control over my life anymore, I've lost control of my own life." I don't know how to further describe it, but it was not a comfortable feeling.

At the leadership retreat on Sunday night we gathered by the flag pole on campus and had a time of worship through music and prayer. During that time we sang From the Inside Out. If you know me, you know I'm a rather emotional person. There's a line in the song that says, "My heart and my soul, Lord I give You control." Well, as you can guess, that's the part when I broke down. The Lord knows what we need to hear, when we need to hear it.

Singing those words was like a surrender to the Lord. I'm trying to and wanting to control my life, but my life is in His hands. He has it under control. I'm brought back to that place where I can say everything is okay. No, life isn't all frolicking through fields of flowers with rainbows overhead and thoughts of unicorns and puppies (is that too much?), but that's okay. Even tonight I'm seeing how the pieces are just falling into place. The Lord is sovereign. He is in control.

There will be uncomfortable times. There will be uncertain times. The Lord doesn't call us to be comfortable or certain at all times. The Israelites wandered in the wilderness, following a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, uncertain of when they would reach the Promised Land. Jesus sent the disciples out telling them to bring nothing with them, no gold or silver, not even an extra tunic. Jesus himself spent 40 days in the desert fasting. He was hungry and he was tempted. These are but a few examples.

Life will get uncomfortable. It will get hard. There will be uncertainty. Above all these remember who is in control. Who created you, knows the days of your life, and has plans for you. It won't always be easy but have faith and trust in the Lord.