I'd like to think I've been holding up pretty well. School is nonstop. There is always something that needs working on, studying, reading, etc. There seems to be no end insight. I've been getting everything done and figuring everything out but I guess everyone reaches a breaking point. Thursday I broke.
It seems I did nothing right in preschool. I got in trouble (okay, not exactly trouble) for not having things prepared in advance when it wasn't my week to prepare those particular things. I'm told to do one thing, I do it and then I'm told to do something different. I get easily frustrated with it all. Then there was the report and plans. I won't get started on those. After the clinic I reached my breaking point and cried. Had an hour to get myself together. Made it through AMT clinic and class. Then I finally got to the BCM which makes everything better.
This week I have: a test tomorrow, a self evaluation due tomorrow, a test Thursday, a report to revise, again, a parent conference, observing at the hospital Wednesday, and all the usual chart notes, plans, clinics, and classes. Then another test next Wednesday. I'm already exhausted. Well, that's partly from this weekend.
Thursday night after TNT Meredith, J, Bryan, and I stayed at the BCM talking until 11pm. We weren't even talking about anything really. Friday the four of us went to Burger King (Bryan bought supper for me and Meredith for his lie about getting jumped) and the ladies' soccer game. Then after the game we decided to get a movie and watch it. Saturday Jefferson and CrossPoint went galactic bowling together 10:30pm to about 1am. All those things were fun but not the wisest decision with everything that needs to be done.
The group of four mentioned above is great. I love it! I enjoy spending time with them, we have fun. Two things though, well...we'll just say two. One I don't want us to be exclusive, even if it is unintentionally. Not just the four of us but our whole Jefferson crew. It's wonderful that all of us that go to church together are friends, friends that hang out outside of church, but we also need to make sure we invite others in. The past year or two our Jefferson crew was made up of people that were kind of in different friend circles so inclusion of lots of different people was easier, but then again other than church/college class activities we didn't all hang out. We need to find the balance between the two. Second thing, more specific to the four of us, is that our friendship lacks a spiritual side if you will. Yes, we know each other from church. We all go to church and the BCM together, but it's like we leave Christ at those places. I don't mean that we go out doing all kinds of ungodly things but we don't talk about Christ. I want us to be able to hold each other accountable and challenge each other in our spiritual lives. I want to know what's going on with them spiritually. I want to hear what they are learning, what God is teaching them. I want to tell them those same things that I want to hear from them. That was just a natural part of other friendships, like with Jessica and Sarah and Hayley. I want that to be a natural part of these new friendships. So I'm working on it. I already have a sorta plan in place to get the conversation started so they'll know that this is needed in our relationships with one another so don't be surprised when I start asking questions.
I've rambled enough. Now I must study. I can make it through these next two weeks. I can.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Rose Art Rejects in 100 words
Here's two random thoughts in one "essay." Remember back in elementary school when you had to write 100 word essays and it seemed impossible. You would count each word. Only 98!? Did I use any contractions? What else can I add?
How I wish I could go back to those days. It is, however, satisfying to be able to look back and think about how much I've learned since then and grown. I'm capable of 10+ page papers now, and really in some cases that would be considered a short paper. I had a class where we were challenged to write a 30 word sentence. Or was it 50? I feel like 30 wouldn't actually be that hard. I was going to try and keep this post to only 100 words but I'm already over that and haven't even mention Rose Art.
Rose Art. The reject of art supplies. Really does anyone ever choose Rose Art over Crayola. Even as a kid you know Crayola works so much better. Yes, Rose Art was probably cheaper, but I don't know anyone who actually wants to use Rose Art. The crayons break easier and don't color as smoothly. The markers aren't as good a quality. Why the sudden hostility to Rose Art, you ask? I don't know. Just a random thought I had one day in class and wanted to share. Sorry Rose Art.
How I wish I could go back to those days. It is, however, satisfying to be able to look back and think about how much I've learned since then and grown. I'm capable of 10+ page papers now, and really in some cases that would be considered a short paper. I had a class where we were challenged to write a 30 word sentence. Or was it 50? I feel like 30 wouldn't actually be that hard. I was going to try and keep this post to only 100 words but I'm already over that and haven't even mention Rose Art.
Rose Art. The reject of art supplies. Really does anyone ever choose Rose Art over Crayola. Even as a kid you know Crayola works so much better. Yes, Rose Art was probably cheaper, but I don't know anyone who actually wants to use Rose Art. The crayons break easier and don't color as smoothly. The markers aren't as good a quality. Why the sudden hostility to Rose Art, you ask? I don't know. Just a random thought I had one day in class and wanted to share. Sorry Rose Art.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
SE Asia 2011: Church
I've been trying to go in order somewhat. Let's face it though, I"m never going to say everything I wanted to say about the trip in this blog. I admit defeat. It's been over a year. Maybe every now and then I'll still do a post about it but it's just not going to be like I wanted it to be, like I did for South Africa. I do have this post though!
In our second location, Emily and I, got the opportunity to go to a house church. I'm writing about this now without looking at any pictures or journals so details of the night may be sparse. To get to this house church we drove over bumpy roads and if I'm not mistaken I think we drove over a dried up river or creek. Maybe I'm exaggerating that bit, but I seem to remember a wide expanse perpendicular to the road and I'm pretty sure there were puddles still in it.
The church was at someone's house. Everyone crammed inside one dimly lit room. There were no chairs; we all sat on the floor. I believe there was music. Emily and I each gave our testimonies. There was a worker there who was able to translate for us. After we gave our testimonies the preacher talked about baptism (I think, that's what came to my mind, but I really should look that one up). He had handouts for everyone. So even though Emily and I couldn't understand anything that was being spoken, and it was far too much to be translated, we were still able to follow along. The handout had the scripture references so we were still able to follow along to an extent and read the same scripture they were studying.
What amazed me was how long church lasted. Now I couldn't tell you how long it was, but there was no set time. Here, at home, church has a start time and a finish time. No, it might not be an official finish time but it always gets done about the same time. Sermons are always about the same length, prayers are relatively short.
But there, there were no constraints. People shared prayer requests, what was going on in their lives spiritually, and the prayer. I don't know how long it was, but it wasn't just a minute or two, I know that much.
I know this post is seeming rather dull and uninformative since I don't really remember much but here is the meat of it, what I took away from the experience. We, as Americans, in a country free to worship as we please, don't appreciate that freedom. We don't realize how fortunate we are. We also are in a sense over-churched. (Was that the term I used them?). We have "church" available to us 24/7 pretty much. You can turn on a tv at almost anytime and find a church service. You can turn on any radio and find a Christian music station. Go to a library or bookstore, you can find an abundance of church books. Church is so available we tend not to fully appreciate it as much as we could. But in SE Asia, that time once a week, might be all they have. They can read the Bible on their own, sure. And yes, they can pray anytime. That one time a week at house church is the only time they get to fellowship with other believers and really have their faith challenged and have an opportunity to learn more and have spiritual growth.
I don't know what else to say. This is kind of a failure of a post but I tried.
In our second location, Emily and I, got the opportunity to go to a house church. I'm writing about this now without looking at any pictures or journals so details of the night may be sparse. To get to this house church we drove over bumpy roads and if I'm not mistaken I think we drove over a dried up river or creek. Maybe I'm exaggerating that bit, but I seem to remember a wide expanse perpendicular to the road and I'm pretty sure there were puddles still in it.
The church was at someone's house. Everyone crammed inside one dimly lit room. There were no chairs; we all sat on the floor. I believe there was music. Emily and I each gave our testimonies. There was a worker there who was able to translate for us. After we gave our testimonies the preacher talked about baptism (I think, that's what came to my mind, but I really should look that one up). He had handouts for everyone. So even though Emily and I couldn't understand anything that was being spoken, and it was far too much to be translated, we were still able to follow along. The handout had the scripture references so we were still able to follow along to an extent and read the same scripture they were studying.
What amazed me was how long church lasted. Now I couldn't tell you how long it was, but there was no set time. Here, at home, church has a start time and a finish time. No, it might not be an official finish time but it always gets done about the same time. Sermons are always about the same length, prayers are relatively short.
But there, there were no constraints. People shared prayer requests, what was going on in their lives spiritually, and the prayer. I don't know how long it was, but it wasn't just a minute or two, I know that much.
I know this post is seeming rather dull and uninformative since I don't really remember much but here is the meat of it, what I took away from the experience. We, as Americans, in a country free to worship as we please, don't appreciate that freedom. We don't realize how fortunate we are. We also are in a sense over-churched. (Was that the term I used them?). We have "church" available to us 24/7 pretty much. You can turn on a tv at almost anytime and find a church service. You can turn on any radio and find a Christian music station. Go to a library or bookstore, you can find an abundance of church books. Church is so available we tend not to fully appreciate it as much as we could. But in SE Asia, that time once a week, might be all they have. They can read the Bible on their own, sure. And yes, they can pray anytime. That one time a week at house church is the only time they get to fellowship with other believers and really have their faith challenged and have an opportunity to learn more and have spiritual growth.
I don't know what else to say. This is kind of a failure of a post but I tried.
Missions Night at the BCM
Last night at TNT was missions night. It was a bit unconventional. We sat on the floor and were divided guys and girls. Instead of a message being spoken out loud it was silent, displayed on powerpoint slides.
Sitting on the floor reminded me of an experience in SouthEast Asia. You can read about that here. The silence makes since because there are many countries all over the world that don't have the freedom to speak about Christ, and they have to meet in secret. I didn't understand why really we were separated into guys and girls until I began typing this post. That's when I remembered going to church in Louisvalweg in South Africa. The men sat on the right and the women on the left.
After the silent message students gave testimonies about where and what they did this past summer. It was different not going anywhere this summer. I've realized I've learned a lot though, and experienced immense spiritual growth this summer. And recently I've also been thinking about what missions looks like at home, or what it should look like. I'll leave those for other posts.
Sitting on the floor reminded me of an experience in SouthEast Asia. You can read about that here. The silence makes since because there are many countries all over the world that don't have the freedom to speak about Christ, and they have to meet in secret. I didn't understand why really we were separated into guys and girls until I began typing this post. That's when I remembered going to church in Louisvalweg in South Africa. The men sat on the right and the women on the left.
After the silent message students gave testimonies about where and what they did this past summer. It was different not going anywhere this summer. I've realized I've learned a lot though, and experienced immense spiritual growth this summer. And recently I've also been thinking about what missions looks like at home, or what it should look like. I'll leave those for other posts.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Long Day
Thursdays for me are long, very long. They are also kind of like a roller coaster. Actually, now that I type that I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean. I understand how people typically use it, meaning whatever they are talking about has its ups and downs, but is the up part of a roller coaster really the good part or is the down part, where you're safe again, the good part. This is what Thursdays do to me. My exhausted brain continues to over think stuff.
Thursdays begin with 3 hours of preschool clinic. I likekids children (my maw-maw was watching the news and they kept saying kids and she asked, "why do they always say kids instead of children? kids are baby goats."), but I am not too good with children. I can take care of them. Have fun with them. The challenge with the preschool is that things have to be said in certain ways. No command, no yes/no questions. Everything is done in a way to facilitate language and it is challenging. Today was only my first day doing it though so I'm sure I will get better, I certainly hope I will. With the preschool I know what's going on though, and we are given clear direction on what's happening.
After preschool I have an hour break. In that hour I have to cleanup at the preschool, eat lunch, and go to Hatcher to get ready for my next clinic.
Then I have my Accent Modification Clinic for 1 hour. There's not much direction given on it, and going in to it I feel like I have no idea what's happening. I'm just winging it. But it has gone so well. I even have fun with it. The supervisor said she thought I would be like a shrinking violet, but I really come out of it and she has given me good comments. Let's hope I can keep that up! I don't want to say too much more because I don't want to accidently cross any HIPAA boundaries, so I'll just leave it at I really enjoy AMT.
After the AMT clinic I have a 2 hour break. That break is filled with meeting with the AMT supervisor, figuring out what just happened, doing paperwork, and a little bit of free time.
Then it's class time for 3 hours. By the time I get to class I've lost all my energy. It's a bit of a rough three hours. As soon as class is over though I make like a banana and split. (Yes, I just found that phrase because I had used another one but wasn't actually sure the meaning of it so I googled it. Found out I used it wrong but found this fun one instead. And also, yes, I had to sing the Gwen Stefanie song to correctly spell banana).
I head over to the BCM. The power walk to my car, then drive, then walk to the BCM energizes me again. I get there and I'm full of energy and excitement to be there. Then about halfway through it hits me how tired I am, and then I feel ready to just crash.
Do I crash though? No. I come home and blog about the long day, thus making it even longer. You know why? It's because after a long day like today I really haven't gotten to talk to people much and so I'm busting at the seams with things to say to anyone who will listen. I don't really ever get that much of a chance on Thursdays to share any of those things with anyone. Bummer.
There was one more thought to go with all this. Tonight at TNT while we sang You Never Let Go my first thought was this song. It's a great song but for it and How He Loves in my opinion got used way too much and I'm just kind of sick of them and would be okay with not singing them again for a very, very long time. I did have a positive thought while singing You Never Let Go. It may seem silly but "There will be an end to these troubles but until that day comes I'll live to know you here on the earth," made me think of all the "troubles" school is causing right now. They aren't so much troubles but just a lot to do and it's overwhelming. I thought though that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. When I graduate that will be the end of these troubles. But even now as I have this overwhelming "troubles" God is still good. I still have overwhelming joy in knowing Him and that makes it all okay.
Thursdays begin with 3 hours of preschool clinic. I like
After preschool I have an hour break. In that hour I have to cleanup at the preschool, eat lunch, and go to Hatcher to get ready for my next clinic.
Then I have my Accent Modification Clinic for 1 hour. There's not much direction given on it, and going in to it I feel like I have no idea what's happening. I'm just winging it. But it has gone so well. I even have fun with it. The supervisor said she thought I would be like a shrinking violet, but I really come out of it and she has given me good comments. Let's hope I can keep that up! I don't want to say too much more because I don't want to accidently cross any HIPAA boundaries, so I'll just leave it at I really enjoy AMT.
After the AMT clinic I have a 2 hour break. That break is filled with meeting with the AMT supervisor, figuring out what just happened, doing paperwork, and a little bit of free time.
Then it's class time for 3 hours. By the time I get to class I've lost all my energy. It's a bit of a rough three hours. As soon as class is over though I make like a banana and split. (Yes, I just found that phrase because I had used another one but wasn't actually sure the meaning of it so I googled it. Found out I used it wrong but found this fun one instead. And also, yes, I had to sing the Gwen Stefanie song to correctly spell banana).
I head over to the BCM. The power walk to my car, then drive, then walk to the BCM energizes me again. I get there and I'm full of energy and excitement to be there. Then about halfway through it hits me how tired I am, and then I feel ready to just crash.
Do I crash though? No. I come home and blog about the long day, thus making it even longer. You know why? It's because after a long day like today I really haven't gotten to talk to people much and so I'm busting at the seams with things to say to anyone who will listen. I don't really ever get that much of a chance on Thursdays to share any of those things with anyone. Bummer.
There was one more thought to go with all this. Tonight at TNT while we sang You Never Let Go my first thought was this song. It's a great song but for it and How He Loves in my opinion got used way too much and I'm just kind of sick of them and would be okay with not singing them again for a very, very long time. I did have a positive thought while singing You Never Let Go. It may seem silly but "There will be an end to these troubles but until that day comes I'll live to know you here on the earth," made me think of all the "troubles" school is causing right now. They aren't so much troubles but just a lot to do and it's overwhelming. I thought though that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. When I graduate that will be the end of these troubles. But even now as I have this overwhelming "troubles" God is still good. I still have overwhelming joy in knowing Him and that makes it all okay.
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