I'd like to think I've been holding up pretty well. School is nonstop. There is always something that needs working on, studying, reading, etc. There seems to be no end insight. I've been getting everything done and figuring everything out but I guess everyone reaches a breaking point. Thursday I broke.
It seems I did nothing right in preschool. I got in trouble (okay, not exactly trouble) for not having things prepared in advance when it wasn't my week to prepare those particular things. I'm told to do one thing, I do it and then I'm told to do something different. I get easily frustrated with it all. Then there was the report and plans. I won't get started on those. After the clinic I reached my breaking point and cried. Had an hour to get myself together. Made it through AMT clinic and class. Then I finally got to the BCM which makes everything better.
This week I have: a test tomorrow, a self evaluation due tomorrow, a test Thursday, a report to revise, again, a parent conference, observing at the hospital Wednesday, and all the usual chart notes, plans, clinics, and classes. Then another test next Wednesday. I'm already exhausted. Well, that's partly from this weekend.
Thursday night after TNT Meredith, J, Bryan, and I stayed at the BCM talking until 11pm. We weren't even talking about anything really. Friday the four of us went to Burger King (Bryan bought supper for me and Meredith for his lie about getting jumped) and the ladies' soccer game. Then after the game we decided to get a movie and watch it. Saturday Jefferson and CrossPoint went galactic bowling together 10:30pm to about 1am. All those things were fun but not the wisest decision with everything that needs to be done.
The group of four mentioned above is great. I love it! I enjoy spending time with them, we have fun. Two things though, well...we'll just say two. One I don't want us to be exclusive, even if it is unintentionally. Not just the four of us but our whole Jefferson crew. It's wonderful that all of us that go to church together are friends, friends that hang out outside of church, but we also need to make sure we invite others in. The past year or two our Jefferson crew was made up of people that were kind of in different friend circles so inclusion of lots of different people was easier, but then again other than church/college class activities we didn't all hang out. We need to find the balance between the two. Second thing, more specific to the four of us, is that our friendship lacks a spiritual side if you will. Yes, we know each other from church. We all go to church and the BCM together, but it's like we leave Christ at those places. I don't mean that we go out doing all kinds of ungodly things but we don't talk about Christ. I want us to be able to hold each other accountable and challenge each other in our spiritual lives. I want to know what's going on with them spiritually. I want to hear what they are learning, what God is teaching them. I want to tell them those same things that I want to hear from them. That was just a natural part of other friendships, like with Jessica and Sarah and Hayley. I want that to be a natural part of these new friendships. So I'm working on it. I already have a sorta plan in place to get the conversation started so they'll know that this is needed in our relationships with one another so don't be surprised when I start asking questions.
I've rambled enough. Now I must study. I can make it through these next two weeks. I can.
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