A Season of Loss

The past few months have been a season of loss. Not all the losses have been death. There have been losses, or almost losses would be a more accurate description, that did not have the finality that death has.

First, there was what I thought was the loss of some friendships. Never having had real problems with friendships before I didn't know to handle this. All I knew was there were some friendships that were simply becoming exhausting. I thought I would be kind of lost without these friendships but didn't know if they were worth the toil. I'm thankful I didn't completely give up.  There was prayer. I know I prayed about whether to keep working at the friendship or let it go. Things were talked out. In the end, there were no friendships lost, and I think because of everything they have been made even better. They might occasionally take a little more work, but I think that helps to keep them open and honest.

Then there have been the deaths. There was the loss at Pediatria. Then there was the loss, March 19, of a long time classmate (2nd-12th grade), Anthony. I was in class on Wednesday afternoon (March 20) and decided to take a peek at Facebook. Mistake. That's when I saw someone posted that he had passed, taken his own life. Shock. Not that there are necessarily people I would expect that from, but he is someone nobody would have expected that from. He was always a cheerful guy. In my mind he'll always be the chubby, bashful, humble guy that I knew him as for so many years. Our senior year of high school though he came back from the summer looking like a totally different guy! He didn't just lose weight but was in shape. It was incredible and hard to believe it was still him. It didn't change who he really was though. He was still the same nice guy who was voted Most Courteous (just as he was in 8th grade!).

As I wondered what good could come from Anthony's death, I began to look through my old yearbooks. Sure enough God answered my wondering. Way back in elementary school, in his yearbook photo, he was rocking a WWJD tshirt. And on his senior page he quotes Mark 9:23, "All things are possible, to him that believes." He also gives the Lord credit for taking part in who he is today, "developing my spirit in holiness, preparing for a purpose chosen by God...Loving God above all else"

When I originally began this post a few weeks ago it was because I had a strange dream. I dreamt I was talking with Anthony, and he was upset about something. Someone asked a question or made a comment, and he said his friend killed himself. I don't know how to take a dream like that. I don't read into dreams having meanings or anything but still I just don't about that one.

Death is a hard thing to deal with. While I may not have been super close to either of these people their losses still affected me. Having friends who have lost parents, I don't know how they have handled it. I can't even imagine it and pray I won't have to experience losing someone so close anytime soon. I've had enough deaths for now. Death doesn't care though and "death has no age."



I take comfort in the fact that death is not my end. Something greater awaits me, eternity with my Savior, my Holy Savior. "Holy is the cry that is even now ringing in the heavens to describe Him...He's the God whose holiness is chanted about from the Seraphim even as we speak." I'll never forget reading that in the Bible study Holy Vocabulary by Michael Kelley. As an unsung verse of my favorite hymn, It Is Well With My Soul, says, "The sky, not the grave, is our goal." If you know Christ, how can you not rejoice in that!? I know faith is about way more than warm, fuzzy feelings but I inwardly swell with joy and comfort at that fact, "the sky, not the grave, is our goal." I pray my life can echo Paul's when he said in Philippians 1:21 "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."

One final note, as I previously began this post I just made brief notes in it. One was that Judy, an elephant from the zoo also died recently. It's like the zoo is not complete without her. And now Bozie doesn't have her friend. Yes, I know the elephants by name. Another note I made simply said, "basketball." If anyone has any clue why I made a note of basketball in this post, please let me know.