Sometimes You Just Have to Ask

Why God? Why?

Why do you allow innocent children to be born with disabilities?

This has been something  I have been struggling with a little bit for the past couple of weeks, but it was made all the more prevalent and difficult on Friday.

This semester one of my clinics is at Pediatria. Pediatria, in a nutshell, is a day healthcare center for medically complex and fragile children. I just love those sweet children. Well, Friday we were told one of the babies passed away. I know I saw this baby, but I honestly do not remember them. That however, does not make it hurt any less. My heart breaks for the family.

Let us go back to when I first really started to struggle with this. At CEC (Collegieate Evangelism Conference) a couple of weeks ago one of the seminars I went to was Responding to the Problem of Evil led by Dr. Steven B. Cowan. One of the arguments is the evidential problem of evil. This next part is an excerpt directly from his handout:

The Evidential Problem of Evil

This version of the problem alleges that God's existence incompatible with a certain kind of evil that exists, namely, with pointless or gratuitous evil- evil that God could not use to bring about a greater good. 

           (1) If God exists, there would be no pointless evil. 

           (2) There is pointless evil. 

           (3) Therefore, God does not exist.  

Well before he even began discussing it I was questioning number 2, thinking there are no pointless evils. A little farther down the handout was this:

Overturning the evidential argument from evil:

         (1) If God exists, there are no pointless evils.

         (2) God exists.

         (3) Therefore, there are no pointless evils.

Okay, so there are no pointless evils. Discussion began and some things were mentioned like the Holocaust and slavery. They were/are horrible. I am not at all happy they happened/are still happening. Somehow though, I can see there is a point in them. I cannot put into words what the point is, I am not sure I even know what the point is, but I have no problem believing there is a point. That is when I thought about the children at Pediatria. What about children born with disabilities, syndromes, diseases, etc.? What is the point in that? Innocent children being born who will never have a "normal" life. Children who will not make it to their 10th birthday, even their 5th birthday. I cannot see any point.

There is a little voice in me that has been saying do not question God. Do not ask Him why. It has me so upset right now though and a bit angry at God. I believe it is okay to ask why and it is okay to be angry, but I need to be honest with God about it. Asking why leads to praying, crying out to God (if you know me, you know I was blessed/cursed with a sensitive soul so there has indeed been crying), and seeking answers and understanding.

This is my struggle. I do not understand now, and it may take time, but I believe in some way there has to be a greater good. I do not know this greater good, so, in the meantime I will keep seeking.