What a wonderful thought

"Death is your birthday into eternity."

Lead us not into temptation

This, then, is how you should pray:

"Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be your name,

your kingdom come,

your will be done

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread.

Forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one."

Thursday night at TNT Dr. Allen Jackson, from NOBTS and interim pastor at UBC, spoke about prayer and the Lord's prayer. I had a lightbulb moment. A moment when I finally understood something with such a greater, deeper meaning. "And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one." The Lord does not tempt us. He allows us to be tempted but He does not tempt us. He is the one who delivers us from the evil one. He is the one who provides the way out of sin and the way out of temptation. My mind immediately went to 1 Corinthians 10:13. "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." Typing it now I am also reminded that it is not if you are tempted but when you are tempted. We will be tempted. He will provide a way out- and that is the wonderfully good news.

Offer this heart, oh God, completely to You

You stood before creation
Eternity in your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart, Oh God
Completely to you

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your spirit alive in me
This life to declare your promise
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart, Oh God
Completely to you

I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand
My soul Lord to you surrendered
All I am is yours

Matthew 19:29

"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life."

There is so much more to come.

Summer 2011

It's happening! I mean I didn't doubt it would, but I feel like it's really official now. Saturday night I bought my plane ticket to go back to SE Asia. I can not wait! I didn't really think I'd ever be able to go back. In fact there was a time when I didn't really know if I would ever want to go back. It's not that I didn't want to ever see the people again I just didn't think it was the place for me to be going back to.

Once again I'm learning my plans are not His plans and His plans are so much better. That's been the reoccurring theme in my life when it comes to mission trips.

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." Douglas Adams

Freshman year I wanted to go to Mexico during spring break. I wanted to go to the Philippines during the summer. The Lord didn't want me in either of these places during those times. I found that out all in the same day, in a matter of about 8 hours. I realized the Philippines wasn't going to happen and then later that night at TNT Steve announced we weren't going to Mexico that year. I went home and cried. It took a lot to not start crying then and there at TNT. I think that is one of the few times that I've ever really questioned, "why Lord, why?" "I want to go for You and You keep stopping me." Mexico and Philippines, my plans. Puerto Rico and somewhere else in SE Asia, the Lord's plans- and what good plans they were. Puerto Rico was incredible and though sometimes I still have trouble figuring out why or what my purpose was in SE Asia I know I grew a lot. It wasn't about me, it's not about me but I was challenged, I had to rely on God, I grew, and I developed a passion to go.

Sophomore year I went to S. Africa. The difference in my plans and His for this one were about the trip itself but events once in S. Africa. Most notable I think of the night we went to Pabellelo. Only a few of us were supposed to go. I didn't want to go, I just wasn't interested in going. We all went. The Lord moved. It was incredible. They joked that it was me and sharing my testimony but it was the Lord. How could it be me when I hadn't even wanted to be there!

Then finally planning for this summer. Thinking about summer 2011 began at the end of summer 2010. Yes, thinking and praying about it that far in advance. I kept thinking Europe somewhere, eastern or western I'm not sure. There was a good bit of mentioning of missions in Europe at Glorieta so that's what got me praying about it. There was also a specific trip I remember seeing in the previous years in England (I think) that was really sticking with me. I began praying. SE Asia kept coming back to my mind. I kept pushing it away. It kept coming back more and more. I started thinking about it. Really, go back to SE Asia? I'm not sure. I was eating supper with Jessica one night and she said she'd been thinking about going back to SE Asia. That's it. I hear you Lord. Back to SE Asia it is.

And that brings me back to right now. Sitting in my room, looking at my flight itinerary, pondering many things about it. My biggest concern is knowing I'm leaving to go over there a few days after everyone else so I'm flying by myself. Not that big a deal, I kind of did that last time. It's still a little bit terrifying though. I worry about what if I miss a flight. And just the long amount spent on the plane. Just me and my thoughts, and not being able to fall asleep. As much as I want to be going there and am glad to be going I fear that that time on the plane with me just thinking will really get to me. Anxiousness, apprehension, questioning. What am I doing? What am I getting myself into? I don't want those kind of thoughts to occur and I think that's what I'm most afraid of about flying alone. No one to keep me grounded and calm. And it's these thoughts and stress from other different aspects of the trip that have already got me losing sleep at night. A problem I've never had before. Since the beginning of this year though when there's something about the trip on my mind or that I know needs to get done soon with the planning it comes to mind when I'm trying to fall asleep. I twist and turn and finally fitfully sleep.

Lord I need to trust in You.

Too comfortable

Sometimes we become to comfortable in the church. Or at least I know I do. Actually the main thoughts running through my head don't necessarily have to do with being too comfortable but I find that thought also running in there so we'll see if they connect somehow as I get this out.

This thought occurred a couple of weeks ago. Our college Sunday school class is actually becoming a class, even more than a class- a college ministry! Seeing every week how our class, I mean ministry, is growing excites me like you can't imagine! There are many familiar faces who have always been around but there are many new faces too.

Some of these new faces aren't really so new to me. They are people I went to high school with. One morning in church there were at least 4 people who I went to high school with. Two who were there for their first time. Where am I going with all this?

I was looking at the Facebook profile of one of the guys who has been coming regularly. That week that there were several people from my high school in church is because that guy invited them. He posted a Facebook status a day or two before Sunday inviting his friends to church. He just started coming and he is already reaching out to people, inviting others to come to church.

Finally, here comes that thought I mentioned. Why am I not doing the same? I am overjoyed to see him reaching out to others but disappointed in myself. When is the last time I invited anyone to church? I fear I've gotten to comfortable in church. I go. I know people there. I tell myself all my friends already have churches they go to, but what about my "friends"- all those people on Facebook who maybe I haven't talked to since high school (if I even talked to them then). A simple status inviting someone to come. It may be just what someone is looking for or waiting for. What if they want to go to church but are scared because they don't know anyone? From my recent couple of months that I was at a different church I know what it feels like to be new, to not know anyone. I ended up going back to my home church (not because of anyone or anything at the other church, just my own fickleness) and becoming comfortable.

So in summary: I need to reach out.