God of Jacob

We sang God of Jacob during debrief this summer. The second time through it we sang it differently. Normally it is like this:

We bow our Hearts
We bend our knees
Oh Spirit come make us humble
We turn our eyes from evil things
Oh Lord we cast out our idols

So give us clean hands
Give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another
Give us clean hands
Give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another

And oh God let us be
A generation that seeks
Seeks your face
Oh God of Jacob
And oh God let us be
A generation that seeks
Seeks your face
Oh God of Jacob

The second time we sang it through it was like this:

They bow their Hearts
They bend their knees
Oh Spirit come make them humble
They turn their eyes from evil things
Oh Lord they cast out their idols

So give them clean hands
Give them pure hearts
Let them not lift their souls to another
Give them clean hands
Give them pure hearts
Let them not lift their souls to another

And oh God let them be
A generation that seeks
Seeks your face
Oh God of Jacob
And oh God let them be
A generation that seeks
Seeks your face
Oh God of Jacob

And I loved it! I really like this song and eventually will get to an even longer post about it. Just changing a few words gives the song such a different impact. Changing those few words made it not a prayer for myself but a prayer for all the lost souls. I'm having trouble getting into words how strongly I felt about it.

In Timor we didn't see a lot of idol worship and offerings to nonexistent gods but in just the few days I was on Bali I saw plenty of it. And it breaks my heart knowing there are all these millions of people destined to hell because they don't know Jesus Christ. They spend all this time sacrificing, and leaving offerings to gods that aren't there, gods that can't help them. I mean, how must it feel each day when you go to leave your offering and the offering from the day before is still there. Doesn't it feel like your gods are rejecting you. Don't they wonder if their is something else, something greater.

This needs to be our prayer for the people of every nation who are following after false gods, worshipping idols. That they would cast out their idols and cease to worship them. That they would come to know the One who offers salvation. The One who does not require the daily sacrifices because He gave His life as the ultimate sacrifice for us so we don't have to. The one who gives salvation freely to any who call upon His name. Jesus Christ.

I asked Stephanie, who led worship when we sang this song, if she came up with singing it this way as a prayer for others or if she had heard it that way before. She said she was talking to J&J and they mentioned how we too often sing about God and not often enough do we sing to God. Instead of singing "Him" and "His" and etc., singing about God, they would sing "You." And I agree whole heartedly when Stephanie said, "think about it...how true is it?" It is very true. It is good to sing about God but sometimes we need to just make it more personal and sing to Him. Here is more of what Stephanie said,"So, I started thinking about some of the songs that I really adore and decided to try a couple when I sang. It makes everything so much more personal and intimate when we can turn our prayers into songs."

Majesty (Here I am)

"Forever I am changed by Your love." God can show His love in so many ways. This summer I felt His love through 22 children.

Majesty (Here I Am)

Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by Your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since You laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in Your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by Your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am humbled by the love that You give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm Your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since You laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

So I realize this song is more about the Lord's saving grace and love then what exactly I'm about to go on about but it's that one line, "Forever I am changed by Your love," that got to me two Sunday nights ago. It was my first Sunday back home and music was one of the things I began to start missing while I was gone. Anyways.

You might feel God's love through a certain individual. Maybe you feel it through nature, watching the sunrise or set, gazing at the vast amount of stars. This summer I felt God's love from a bunch of children. Not only the 22 kids at the children's home but also the kids in the villages. And the adults too. I'm not quite sure yet how they've changed me, but they have.

I never thought it was going to be so hard telling the children bye. I thought that right as we were leaving it might really hit and there'd be a few tears shed and that'd be it. Quite to the contrary though! There were very few dry eyes as we all spoke and said goodbye. I can't forget the tears streaming down all the girls' faces. Marget and Jened crying as they both held on to me and I to them. Jeni and the sweet note she gave me. The two bracelets Jeni gave me and the one bracelet another girl gave me, I believe it was Dede but I'm not sure and it kills me that I can't remember which girl gave it to me. What little they had they're willing to give away. (Speaking of giving away, I let them have the pictures I brought with me so your picture might now be in the hands of a child in Indonesia if I had a picture of you with me :) I'm getting off topic though.) Even some of the boys trying not to let their emotions show. Even remembering it now it is still heartbreaking.

A few nights before we were to leave I was wondering what did I actually do there? What difference or impact did my being there have? I struggled with this a lot actually. And then one night when I was in the room by myself Amena and Dede came, armed with just a traveler's English/Indonesian dictionary, to talk with me. We talked as much as we could about various things for quite a while. Dede drew an imaginary line down from my forehead, pointed to one side of me and said, "America," then pointed to the other side and said,"Indonesia."

Whether I ever figure it out or not the kids, or at least some of them, saw something more in me then what I could see. And it's that love I felt from them, that even if I don't fully understand, has somehow in someway changed me.

Heart of Worship

I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it when it's all about You. Yes, it's all about you Jesus. How true that is and how sorry I am.

Heart of Worship

When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the ways things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus

Its all about You
Jesus

As we were singing this song last Sunday night in church it really hit home with me. Our last week in Indonesia we taught this song to the kids in the children's home to sing on Sunday morning in their church. Teaching it to the kids started out as a bit of a train wreck. I think we were reluctant just to get it taught (I must add though that by Sunday it sounded great). We never did have it translated into their language for them to understand what it was they were singing. The thing is, it is in my language and yet while we were there I totally missed the meaning of it.

When we were teaching it I felt like we had four people singing it each with our own slight variation of some sort, not to mention the kids who had never even heard the song before also had their own tune for it going on. I'm used to hearing it one way so to me that's the "right" way. Then we would practice it so many times that the kids would get restless; I would get restless. This is what my focus was on. This is what I made it.

I made it about me. I made it about how I wanted to hear it. I made it about what I wanted to be doing instead of going over it for the 4th time in a row. It's not about me. It's all about You, Jesus.

There is no right or wrong way to sing a song when you're worshiping the Lord. "When the music fades all is stripped away... I'll bring You more than a song for a song in itself is not what You have required...It's all about You Jesus." The music means nothing if the intentions are not right. It's about why we are praising the Lord. Why, not how (how, as in song, prayer, scripture, etc.). What is in our hearts and in our minds as we lift this song up to the Lord? Are our hearts and our minds really on the heart of worship-Jesus? "You search much deeper within, through the way things appear, You're looking into my heart. I'm coming back to the heart of worship and it's all about You." Everything we are is because of Him and everything we do should be for Him. "Longing just to bring something that's of worth that will bless Your heart...I'll bring You more than a song...King of endless worth, no one could express how much You deserve. Though I'm weak and I'm poor all I have is Yours, every single breath."